John Brown’s body

There’s a right stooshie going on in the City of Discovery, especially up the hill on Sandeman Street.

Dundee Football Club – for it is they – have appointed former player John Brown as interim manager and many of the dark-blue persuasion in Tayside are not happy.

I don’t blame them. This is the guy who agreed one evening to manage Dumbarton only to change his mind the next morning. (Clapton, did the Sons have a lucky escape or what?) Off he went instead to Clyde who he promptly led from the First Division to the Second and heading speedily towards the Third before the Bully Wee saw sense and gave him the order of the boot.

His last public appearance (as far as I know) was last year on the steps of Ibrox Stadium where he delivered an alcohol-fuelled (surely) rant to the gathered crowds about himself being the saviour of Rangers FC (deceased). Some may have taken him seriously but the vast majority either laughed or shook there heads sadly at the sight.

Now he’s arrived at Dens Park. I only hope the directors know what they are letting themselves in for.

We are well rid of this turbulent priest.

So, Britain’s most senior Roman Catholic cleric, Cardinal Keith O’Brien, is stepping
down as Archbishop of St Andrews and Edinburgh.

There were media reports yesterday that he had been involved in (ahem!) “inappropriate behaviour” towards priests some years back but he strenuously denied this, was taking legal advice, blah, blah, blah.

Now he’s gone, apologising to those he “offended”, amid claims he was resigning anyway. Perhaps it has something to do with his urging last week that priests should be allowed to marry. Perhaps he and ol’ Benedict are going to settle down together and love live happily ever after.

Cardinal O’Brien is the current holder of Stonewall’s ‘Bigot of the Year’ award.

Frank on Sunday

“Tobacco is my favourite vegetable.” (1993)

A big day for a little team

It’s the English League Cup Final (or Capital One Cup to give it its current name) this afternoon and I usually wouldn’t be too interested unless Arsenal were one of the combatants (remember the days when Arsenal reached cup finals?) but today is a great opportunity for two smaller, less-fashionable to make there mark on the competition’s history.

In the white corner we have Swansea City who will be attempting to take the trophy outside Englandshire for the first time. They’ve achieved much in recent years playing attractive football especially under the management of Brendan Rodgers (before he sold his soul) and now Michael Laudrup.

But my heart for today is in the claret-and-amber corner with Bradford City. Once of the Premiership (albeit briefly) the now find themselves in the Second Division or, to put it another way, the fourth tier of English football.

I must admit to a small connection with the club due to the Valley Parade fire of Saturday, 11 May 1985, which killed 56 spectators including good friends of mine.

So I’ll be cheering on the Bantams today and, if they win, I’ll even forgive them for knocking out Arsenal on the way to Wembley.

When is a culprit not to blame?

I think that most sensible people would consider that they would be entitled to redress or compensation if a relative or loved one was killed by the actions of others. Likewise, if you or I were the culprit we would expect to be punished in some way.

But, of course, sensibility is not often a word that can be used in connection with the United Nations. (Apart from ending the phrase “The UN lacks….”) This is the body that denies North Korea and Iran the right to nuclear development while letting other countries which are more suited to the UN’s capitalist and imperialist agendas do as they please.

Now, you may not be aware of the cholera epidemic in Haiti which, to date, has killed almost eight thousand people – an outbreak started by leaking sewerage pipes within a UN camp on the island for recently-arrived peace-keeping soldiers from Nepal (another country where cholera is rife).

In 2011 an investigation into the outbreak was launched and a top US cholera expert, Dr Daniele Lantagne, concluded that the camp was the “most likely” source of the disease. “We can now say,” Dr Lantagne said, “that the most likely source of the introduction of cholera into Haiti was someone infected with the Nepal strain of cholera and associated with the United Nations Mirabalais camp.”

Two years on and the UN says it is immune from such claims under the UN’s Convention on the
Privileges and Immunities of the UN. Yes, the UN protects itself by a law it made up itself.

Not that the mandarins at the UN are totally heartless. After all, in December 2012 it launched an appeal to raise $2bn (£1.3bn) to fight the epidemic. An epidemic the UN is “most likely” responsible but which it wants ordinary people around the world to pay for.

UN Secretary General Ban Ki-moon yesterday graciously TELEPHONED Haitian President Michel Martelly to inform him of the decision not to accept responsibility.

Pay up United Nations, accept your lot and take your punishment.

Royal racist

So the Chooky Embra’s at it again, this time insulting a Fillipino nurse by telling her “The Philippines must be half empty – you’re all here running the NHS”.

Well, you wrinkly old benefits scrounger, I bet you don’t mind what nationality of person treats you when you have your frequent trips to a hotel private hospital for treatment of your incontinence problems. (Is there a cure for verbal diahorrea? If so, somebody please give it to Phil the Greek, preferably anally.)

No doubt if I was a patient in a NHS hospital and spoke to a nurse like that I could expect action to be taken. (Circumcision, sir? Sorry, I thought you said “castration”.) If only there had been a Joan Sims-type matron to take a hold of the old fogey and put him in his place.

For those who are somehow unaware of his past indiscresions have a read of this:

http://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Prince_Philip,_Duke_of_Edinburgh

The sooner we abolish the whole stinking lot of them the better.